A New Normal

     "Normal" is defined as "The usual, average or typical state or condition".  I've discovered (with the help of a friend who gave me the phrase "new normal") that normal is relative.  My normal is not your normal.  Your normal is not my normal.  While reflecting on this concept I've also discovered that what is normal CHANGES.  Right now, I would define my normal as "married parenthood".  However, within that normal, my circumstances have changed my daily normal 5 times and counting.  Right now, I'll give you the general overview, and over the course of the next few weeks I'll tell you about each phase of our normal in more detail. 

     My son Eli was born at 35 weeks.  He was whisked off to the NICU after a few second reprieve of being held by his Daddy while I was cleaned up from my C-section.  In addition to the new normal of being a brand new parent, I was unexpectedly being thrown into the normal of a NICU mom.  This normal thankfully did not last as long as we were warned it might.  After a week, the next normal I encountered, and welcomed with open arms, was being a mom with a newborn at home.  This unfortunately only lasted 2 weeks.  At 3 weeks old, Eli was diagnosed with Bilateral Hip Dysplasia.  He went into a Pavlik Harness in an effort to correct his hips.  This was non-evasive and as "easy" a method could be to correct his hip issues. The harness was to remain on him 24 hours a day. I had just gotten the hang of being a new mom with a newborn and I was being thrown the curve ball of how to care for a newborn I was unable to cradle in my arms, pump his legs to relieve the gas pain he was struggling with, or change a diaper without him crying in pain and frustration.  This normal lasted for 3 weeks.  We (Eli, my husband and my self) were finally getting used to things when the doctor determined this method of treatment was NOT working and if left on longer could potentially do more damage than good.  The doctor explained to us that the next step for treatment was called a closed hip reduction.  This procedure would be done under anesthesia, but was minimally evasive.  A dye would be injected into Eli's hips to highlight the socket and then his hips would be manipulated into place.  In order to allow the hips to solidify where they are supposed to be, a body cast called a Spica Cast would be placed and he would stay in it for 12 weeks.  Our 4th new normal was the 2 week reprieve we were granted free of the harness prior to having his procedure to place the body cast.  2 weeks to play with his toes, give him baths, do normal diaper changes, and have him wear ALL of his 3 month clothes he wouldn't be able to wear in the cast so I didn't feel stupid for having already taken off all the tags.  Once again we were just getting into a "normal" routine and it was time for Eli to be put into his cast.  I met this new normal with serious apprehension, and even more when the next complication with Eli's hips came to light.  During this procedure the Doctor discovered that Eli's right hip was MUCH worse than his left.  The right would need extensive surgery when Eli was closer to a year old and yet another body cast would be placed after that.  Eli came out of this procedure with a cast up to his arm pits and down his left leg.  This is the normal we have been living in for the past 12 weeks.  It presented more challenges than I ever imagined but it also brought more joy and lessons about resilience in the form of a sweet and smiley baby in a "bucket". 

     Tomorrow begins our 6th new normal.  Tomorrow Eli's cast comes off and we have a 6 month reprieve before his surgery and next cast.  I am beyond excited for this new normal.  Of course this will present its own challenges, as I have gotten used to my little one not being able to roll off the couch, changing table etc.  Seeing my son kick both legs, and wear pants, and being able to tickle his tummy and rub his back are so "insignificant" in the grand scheme of parenthood until you are unable to do them.  Tomorrow- that all changes.  Tomorrow, I'm going to change Eli's shorts every hour, pump his legs and watch him kick them. tickle and blow raspberries on his tummy every time I change his shorts, and rub his back and hold him close.  Tomorrow Eli is going to find me the most annoying Mommy in the world, and that's HIS new normal.